Doors in Spain are the worst invention ever!

So today I learned another lesson about Spanish doors. Maybe it wasn't a lesson because I already knew what I did can happen but really it supported my argument that Spanish doors are STUPID!

It is hard to explain to my American friends if you haven't see the doors in Spain so bare with me in this explanation. Doors here do not separate dead bolts, they don't have push in locks or turn the little locks on the doorknob. Here the locks are open and closed with the key, in the keyhole. This means that on every door there is a keyhole on the inside and the outside of the door. So to open the door from the outside you put the key in the keyhole and to lock it from the inside you put the same key in the same keyhole to lock it. Also, on the outside of the doors there are no doorknobs. You must open the door with the key and push open the door.

Common place in Spain is when you arrive home, you open the door and then when you are inside you put the keys in the keyhole to lock the door, or not even lock it, just stick them in the hole so you know where your keys are. I rarely do this since it isn't a habit and the times I did this before I spent a good 10 minutes looking for my keys because I forgot I left them in the door and not my purse.

Now today, I wanted to make cornbread to go with our lentil soup. I realized though, that we were out of eggs so we decided to run to the store real quick. Well, for some reason my keys were in the door and not Pablo's and he dug his out of his coat and we left. This means that I left my keys in the door because if he has his keys I don't need mine right? WRONG! We arrive home and realize mine are still in the door and you can't open it from the outside. So we go downstairs to ask our doorman if he can help. He gives a number or a locksmith and lucky for us someone can come in the next hour. Today, of course, is a holiday and not many people are working.

Here is the best part. We are waiting in the stairwell of the building because we can see the street and know when the locksmith shows up. Then this car, lowrider, pimped out, white dodge neon thing with something done to the muffler because you can hear it from a mile away pulls up. I was like no that isn't them and they don't call Pablo so I laugh a little at them and I forget about it. Then 5 minutes later they ride up the elevator and are at our door. Not sure how they got through 2 doors without a key but hey, his job is to break open doors right? One guy is tall and rather large and his friend is short and creepy. The fat guy starts doing his magic on the door and this means he must bend over and show me his huge, white ass-crack. I was like, did I call the plumber or the locksmith? I had to hide behind the creepy friend to keep myself from laughing and there was no where else to hide so I didn't have to look at that. AHHH! Luckily he opened it in 2 minutes and we were saved. But thanks to our crazy new friends we had throw 116 euros down the toilet. Good thing I live in the land of wine!

Here are 2 other reasons I hate Spanish doors:

1) If you lock it from the outside and someone is inside without a key, you can't get out. This happened us at Pablo's parents house. They left, locked the door and we were locked in because Pablo didn't have keys. Good thing there wasn't a fire

2) We were visiting friends in Valencia and stayed at their vacation apartment on the beach. We had breakfast outside on their balcony and I shut the sliding glass door because we had turned on the heat on the inside and I didn't want cold air getting in the house (It was November) Well guess what....you can't shut the sliding glass doors from the outside because there is no door handle on the outside to open it. So we were locked outside, on the balcony, 12 floors up. Now what the hell...who has ever heard of that. Don't you have bugs in Spain and want to keep them out in the summer by shutting the door?

I'm officially done with Spanish doors. I don't understand them at all.